Don't be a martyr: He is amazing at taking initiative. Knowing that I feel more relaxed when my home is tidy and the toys are put away, I love it when I see him making the beds, emptying the dishwasher, stopping by the grocery store, or putting the laundry away (my least favorite household task).
In truth, he never puts our "show pillows" in the proper place, and often he will forget to buy one of my needed items for whatever diet I am trying out. But it doesn't matter. I love that he takes initiative without being asked or prompted.
I know that allowing him to do it his way is much better than forcing him to do it mine, which ultimately would result in me doing it myself. Don't be a martyr. Getting your companion to do his fair share around the house means you'll be less exhausted and less resentful.
Let him make some of the decisions: It is time to honestly ask yourself: are you comfortable letting Dad take on many of the decisions you previously tackled alone?
To begin dual-parenting, we must release our hold on some of the decisions we make every day. Think through your list of what I like to call "Mommy calls" and consider if you can transition them to "parenting calls."
As an example, can Dad make the decision for a sleepover without your input? How about scheduling birthday parties, or going shopping for back to school supplies or Halloween costumes? Think about what you normally take on, and ask yourself if you can allow your partner to help with these tasks more evenly. The benefits far out-weigh the trade as you get a real partner and the kids get an involved, hands-on Dad.
And remember to brag! Everyone loves compliments. If your partner is a real equal partner--tell him and everyone else who will listen. Boast to the women at the park. Praise your husband's parenting skills in front of his male friends. Be the example to the masses.
People are always asking me, "How do you get everything done?"
I proudly answer, "I don't do it alone. Scott and I are partners."
Don't undermine your own authority: "Just wait 'til your dad gets home!" I used to say.
"Ask your dad if you can stay up till midnight." Or, "He's going to be mad if you spoil your dinner with ice cream!"
I can think of more than a few times when Megan and Emily left their bedrooms a nightmare with clothes and toys spewing everywhere. I wanted to punish them, but the softy in me didn't want to be viewed as the bad guy. So, I let Scott deliver the bad news.
This wasn't fair and, more importantly, it undermined my role as mother and copartner. Don't promote an unequal partnership. Your actions and reactions are exactly as important as your spouse so don't undermine your own authority.
Samantha Knowles is the author of Working Mom Reviews. To know more on training program to help men and women to get their bodies back into great shape see Old School New Body. Learn about How to drive your man wild with the new yousee Melt Your Man's Heart
