Every time Valentine’s Day comes along, I think of the day
before Valentine’s Day a couple of years when, as I was leaving
the card and gift shop where I’d selected some Valentines, while
cursing the materialism dictated to us by Madison Avenue that
demanded the expression of feelings with store-bought cards and
boxes of candy, mourned the fact that I had no “honey” at the
time, thought of the cards I should and should not have received
on past Valentine’s Days, worried if I was spending too much or
too little, and wondered if my son would remember to let my
grand-daughter pick out a card for me…
… the shop owner called out, “Be careful driving, Susan. There
are a lot of angry lovers out there on the road today.”
It’s coming again … Valentine’s Day … and with it a lot of
emotions. It’s also a day you can organize, if you sit down and
think about it, using both your IQ and your EQ.
INTENTIONALITY
How do you intend your Valentine’s Day to be? Intentionality
means saying what you mean and meaning what you say, and it also
means being responsible and accountable for your motives as well
as your actions.
If your intention is to express your love to someone in a
meaningful way, this might include thinking about what means
love to them. It could be a toaster oven would be greatly
appreciated, a poem you’ve written, a kiss on the cheek, an
addition to their collection, a power tool, something very gushy
or not very gushy, a night of dancing, or not spending any money
because you’re both over budget.
At the same time, how to you intend to manage your emotions?
If you take an honest look at the situation, here are some
intentions you might have:
·Do you plan to be upset over what happens? ·If you’re single,
do you intend to “let it get to you?” ·Do you intend to be
disappointed in what your lover gives you, as nothing is good
enough? ·Do you intend to keep your expectations in line with
reality-testing? ·Do you intend to express your needs, as no one
can read your mind, no matter how much they love you? ·Do you
intend to spend more than you can afford to and then feel
guilty? ·Do you intend to compare yourself, or the gift you
receive to others’? ·Do you intend to agree to choose your boss’
gift for his wife even though this causes negative emotions for
you? ·Do you intend to let someone else “do” Valentine’s for
you, or do you plan to be personally involved in your gift
choices? ·Do you intend to be a perfectionist and feel that
whatever you buy is wrong, and whatever you do isn’t right?
You could intend to love yourself and enjoy your day!
Intentionality is tough stuff and it means business.
ACCOUNTABILITY
On the more pragmatic level, there are things that need doing.
If you intend to observe the day by remembering various people
·Write out your budget ·Make a list of people you wish to
remember ·Start writing down ideas for each person ·Remember
there’s a whole slew of merchants out there willing to make this
easy for you – use the Internet and the telephone ·Start early
to avoid pressure ·Plan ahead how you will resist all the
last-minutes “specials” coming your way that you know you can’t
afford
Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday this week. That’s something
you need to know. This means you can send last-minute floral
arrangements, and it means that restaurants are going to be
absolutely packed on that night, and that babysitters may be
hard to come by. Plan accordingly!
Planning is the key to experiencing the joy of Valentine’s Day.
It’s your day and you can have it your way!