QuestionHi,
Firstly thank you for tasking the time to respond to my message. Im currently 31weeks pregnant. I have been with my partner 6 years and this is our first child. My partner and i slept together 10th April, then on the 15 i was subject to rape from a man unknown to me. It was found out that he did ejaculate in me. Over 2 weeks later me and my boyfriend started having sex again, on May 2nd 3rd and 4th. Then on the 19th may i found out i was pregnant with a faint line on the test. My first ultrasound on the 10th of july stated i was 12 weeks. The CRL was 54mm. Ive had numerous blood tests making sure i havent contracted anything from my rape. I asked both midwife and gp when i conceived in which they told me the beginning of may. I decided to wait till my 2nd scan to see if my dates were the same which they were. Both ultrasounds giving me 22nd jan as EDD. Obviously i have been worried as to whether it was from the rape, after speaking to my midwife she said they would notice if i was 15 days ahead of what i was told, and also the man from 15th april had clearly been smoking cannabis as i couod strongly smell it. All the calculators ive done are sayin my conception occured on 1st May which worries me slightly as i didnt have sex with my boyfriend until the 2nd. Also i am unsure when my periods were but know they only last around 3 days. Ive decided to go ahead with the pregnancy as my bf strongly believes its his as does my midwife but ive just got a constant doubt in my mind about the rape being responsible for my pregnancy. Also my bump size has remained consistent at 28weeks, 28cm and 31weeks 31cm. Is there a chance it is his? Many Thanks
AnswerHi Jessica,
Your midwife and gp are giving you good information. A 12 week ultrasound is not going to be off by 2 weeks. It could be off by a few days, but not anything close to two weeks.
Also, if you had conceived on April 15, a pregnancy test done on May 19 would have shown a dark line very quickly, not a faint line.
With the ovulation date of May 1 :
You could have ovulated May 1 - the egg can live for 24 hours after ovulation, and with ovulating May 1, you could have gotten pregnant May 2.
OR
The ultrasound may have been off by a few days (not unusual) and you could have actually ovulated May 2-4.
Either way, it's very clear that your boyfriend is the father.
The doubt you are feeling is normal...but everything points to an early May conception. And although these tests can be off by a few days, they aren't off by a few weeks. There are too many changes in the developing baby that early - it would be very evident if you had conceived two weeks earlier.
Some suggestions with your birth - it will probably be very important for you to feel as though you are in control, that you are making choices and not that things are being done to you against your will. Talk to your midwife ahead of time about what you want for your labor, and make sure she explains to you what is going on during your labor. Let your boyfriend know that during labor, he can reassure you that you are safe, let you know that you are strong, give you lots of encouragement, remind you that it is your body producing these sensations (it's not that something is doing this to you) If you have fears surface during labor, be sure to voice them to your boyfriend and/or midwife - sometimes just getting that fear out into the open can dissipate it.
I wish you the very best with the rest of your pregnancy and with your birth. Even though you have fears about when your baby was conceived, look at the evidence - everything clearly points to an early May conception.
Dorothy H, LCCE
