QuestionKaren: I had my first mammo on 3/1. Two days later had a biopsy on what ended up being a fibroadenoma (benign). I now have to see a surgeon to see if I need to have it out or leave it. Also was told because I'm a "difficult case" I should have the surgeon do yearly exams and check the mammos.
When I got off the phone with the ARNP, my husband started making fun of me. I just ended up crying. I have three kids (13,11,6) and am trying to get back into the workforce. Although I still want to work on my marriage, I hate never having my husband when I need him the most. I can't believe he had the nerve to make fun of me when he knows how much I've been worrying. Don't make excuses please because this isn't the first time he's not been there for me.
I have an appt. to see the surgeon on 4/7, but I'm scared to death. The biopsy was on the right side, but the left side is the side that bothers me more. Nothing was made of anything but the biopsied area. I began feeling better when I heard the benign results, but I'm afraid again. I feel so stupid. I have no one to talk to. How have you made it through so much and if you don't mind at what age were you when the first problem was encountered? I sat there with two 80 year old woman waiting for the mammos and I'm the one with the problems. This is the pits! Any way of dealing with this would be aprpeciated. Thanks.
AnswerDear Lisa, The first thing I will tell you is to IGNORE your stupid husband who has shown he has no respect for you or your feelings or well being by teasing you.... Many men are like this and if you let him, he will keep you down and continue to abuse, yes I said abuse you, with his words and actions of uncaring.... If you want to work on this marriage that is completely up to you, but if it were me, I would just tell him that you will NOT stand for his childish ways any more and he better start acting like a husband instead of some IGNORANT anus..... I never make excuses for MEN who are abusive and ignorant, but I do tell women they do not have to live like this and are often happier WITHOUT that abusive mate... Not being there for you IS abuse....
Now for your breast problems.... WHen you see the surgeon you MUST tell him about your left breast and how it hurts or bothers you MORE than the right side where the fibroadenoma was found.... He may want to do more testing (ultrasound etc) on the left side.... Also, when you go, make sure to take ALL of the mammogram films with you and the radiologist report and also the biopsy reports.... Your surgeon needs all of this to be able to see for himself exactly what is going on.... Doctors often do not read things the same way, so give the surgeon all the information he needs to make an informed decision... Next, you do what the surgeon suggests.. If it is surgery to remove the fibroadenoma, then so be it, have it done.... This simple little surgery is nothing compared to an incorrect diagnosis... Do not be scarred, because you are seeing a surgeon and now getting the best information you can get.... Go and have your mammograms done based on what the surgeon tells you to have them done and YES, keep seeing the surgeon for all breast follow-up... Benign is good and a lot of breast lumps are cysts and not tumors and not cancer.... But you MUST help yourself by making sure you get your mammograms when you are told to...
Most all of my major problems started at age 54, but then I have a family history of heart, high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes and thyroid problems.... The more family history of medical problems you have the more likely you will be to develope the same problems.... However, having said this, YOU can change your future health by changing your life style and eat better, exercise, and simply reduce as much stress as you can in your life.... I had a husband who was demanding but very loving, and I loved him too, but because of his medical problems (cancer) I ignored my symptoms and medical problems to care for him.... DO NOT do this to yourself, because once you let yourself get behind in YOUR medical needs, often things will sling-shot out of control..... This is why I say to ignore your husband and the way he acts and concentrate on YOU and your health...
If you need more information or when you see the surgeon or if you just need to talk about something, write back...
thank you, karen
