QuestionHi Danielle. My name is Janice. I have asked you a question before regarding abortion rights, and you were very helpful. This question isn't directly related to abortion (although there is a connection), but it is a woman's issue. You mentioned in your answer that you were a feminist, and I could really use a feminist perspective on this issue (if you don't mind).
I was participating in a discussion on-line about a young girl who was sexually assaulted by four young "men" at her high school dance. One woman made this comment, and it just infuriated me:
I am no expert but it looks like American women need to go back to the kitchen for their own protection. I am an African woman.
This is an outrage! More and more I hear people talk about what women should be doing (or not doing!) in order to protect themselves from being raped. It seems like every week at least lately there is another story about a woman being abducted/raped and even killed! Remember the woman who went missing in Georgia while going for a walk in an isolated area? You wouldn't believe how many people thought she had done something wrong by going for a walk on her own! This is America. It is suppossed to be a free country. I replied to this woman by asking if it were African American people or Jewish people who were being attacked (because of their race or religious beliefs) would she suggest that we send them back to the cotton fields or the concentration camps? I mean, that is basically the same thing! She wants to punish women for being women, instead of punishing the "men" who committ violence against women. We can't help being female anymore than someone can help their race.
Interestingly enough, not to long ago I heard a rabid anti choice, anti feminist woman make a similar argument. That the feminist/abortion rights movement did a disservice to women, because while it gave them more freedom it also stripped them of the special protection that women/girls used to have. In other words, it is women's fault that we are being victimized because we don't know "our place". We would have been much safer and happier at home, with a man to protect us and make sure we were provided for. Thank you.
Janice
AnswerHi Janice :) I remember!
Of course I don't mind, I LOVE helping out ;)
Oh my goodness. A year ago, a guy in class mentioned how the women's rights movement hurt women because it limited their choices-all that awful pressure to not be a stay at home mom. We were giving a presentation to the class. Right away I cut him off "No it didn't." And this girl UGH I still get so damn pissed just thinking about this incident! This girl, who made some really insensitive comments in the past tells me that yes it did because it drove housing prices up, "basic economics". I tell her no, and she tells me to "not get all huffy at me." So i go on a rant about how women in the fifties ended up in psychiatrist office "because they thought they were mentally fucked up" (the look on my teacher's face was awesome), and then I flipped her off. Class ended. We go to the next class, teacher asks my opinion on the auto bailout, and she talks over me. I still want to smash her head in, excuse the violence, but damn. First off-the whole stay at home thing? That was upper and middle class WHITE women. Minority and poor/working class women never even got to have a choice in the matter. Some worked the slave markets on the streets, earning a few cents a day. At least the class knew I was a feminist haha
Oh, victim blaming! The only way to not get raped or assaulted is to never be in the same place as a rapist or an assaulter. And I gotta love how happy lesbian and bisexual women would be partnered up with a man for life. That's definitely reasonable. And cutting off women's contributions to the economy? Uh, we need that. Really badly. And i'd love to know more about this special protection. Like how women couldn't get credit in their name, or how marital rape wasn't a crime? I'll be fine without that. But I will take the right to an equal education, the lip service of a right to equal pay, and a right to an abortion and even birth control, all thanks to the feminist movement. I also like that child abuse is a crime, as is rape and domestic violence, and that people can begin talking about them. They happened when women were in the home, but it sure as hell wasn't discussed.
If men respected women as equals, there wouldn't be rape and assault. If they didn't put drugs into drinks, use verbal, emotional and physical threats or coercion, take advantage of a woman who is drunk or under the influence of drugs, then I'm sure we would be a lot safer. I was assualted at a train station a couple years ago. I didn't buy a ticket, so I could try and get a free ride. Lots of people do it. I only had 2 stops to go. One of the workers caught me and kicked me off, so I had to wait for my dad to come and get me, and a guy followed me off-I later realized he purposefully did that-and started talking to me, and slowly the conversation went from casual to creepy, talking about my body and stuff, and few minutes later, he grabs my breasts, despite my lack of consent. I don't remember if I said no-it's fucking scary to have a huge man cornering you, and to say no. But I did say something that meant no. I got lecture after lecture by the police about how I should have bought a ticket. Yea, like that's what I wanted to hear, right? Ugh.
Damn this kind of thinking just enrages me. It would be AMAZING if women could all come together and demand a stop to it. All of us. Not "well, but she must have done something to deserve it" kind of crap. That kind of thinking allows those women to think "if I don't do what she did, I'm fine." Much easier than confronting male privilege and the benefits they have living under a patriarchy. I'll leave off here, I'm sure I've ranted enough, but I hope I helped!
