Aggression and toddlers go together like peanut butter and jelly. It is hard to find one without the other. Shocking as it may be to you (and onlookers), aggressive behavior is a normal part of your toddler's development. Still-emerging language skills, a fierce desire to become independent, and undeveloped impulse control make children this age prime candidates for getting physical. Let your toddler know that aggressive behavior is unacceptable and show him other ways to express his feelings.
When (not 'if') your toddler starts to get aggressive, here is what you must do:
1. Follow up with logical consequences. If your child gets into the ball pit at the indoor play center and immediately starts throwing the balls at other kids, take him out. Sit down with him and watch the other kids play, and explain that he can go back in when he feels ready to join the fun without hurting other children. Avoid trying to "reason" with your child. they cannot reason but they definitely understand consequences.
2. Keep your cool. Yelling, hitting, or telling your child he's bad won't get him to curtail his behavior -- you'll just get him more riled up and give him examples of new things to try. In fact, watching you control your temper may be the first step in his learning to control his.
3. Set clear limits. Try to respond immediately whenever your toddler is aggressive. Don't wait until he hits his brother for the third time to say, "That's enough!" He should know instantly when he's done something wrong. Remove him from the situation for a brief time-out (just a minute or two is enough). This is the best way to let him cool down, and after a while he'll connect his behavior with the consequence and figure out that if he hits or bites, he ends up out of the action.
4. Discipline consistently. As much as possible, respond to each episode the way you did last time. Your predictable response will set up a pattern that your child will recognize and come to expect. Your toddler will connect bad behavior with time-out.
5. Reward good behavior. As parents it is hard to remember that we have to also watch out for good behavior and reward our children for all the great things they do. When he asks to have a turn on the swing instead of pushing another child out of the way, praise him lavishly!
For more help with your toddler, check out the Talking To Toddlers Review or the Potty Training In Three Days Review
