Choose activities that are close to home. In my family, we have a rule that we will never drive more than ten miles for any weekly activity. Any farther than a few miles, and the activity changes from fun to complicated and burdensome. Your time is valuable, so don't spend it on the road.
It might seem all right at first, but once you've made that same hour-long trip multiple times (and, let's not forget, hit the same Burger King drive-thru multiple times), the real value of the activity may not be what you were hoping for.
Teach your kids to entertain themselves.When I was a child, my sister and I spent a lot of time at the playground across the street from our apartment. We hung out, built creations from rocks and grass, and got really dirty. There weren't agendas, lessons, or formal structures to our activities. Sometimes there were other kids there, too, but a lot of the time, we just entertained ourselves.
Today, our children are so accustomed to having structured time at school and extracurricular activities that they can become dependent on us for direction and entertainment. But if you let go of the idea that you need to keep your kids entertained all the time, you will give them a chance to get creative and discover the world on their own.
Once you commit, attend what matters most.My daughter loves it6 when I watch her cheerleading practices. She likes that I see her perform the choreography, and I think it's fun to watch. My oldest daughter on the other hand, could care less if I attended a single one of her volleyball practices--and she has more than three a week. In fact, she would probably rather I'm not there to hover. For Megan, the games, not practices, are what are important to her. That's perfectly fine--it allows Megan to cultivate her skills privately and build independence.
Being there for your kids when it matters most to them will let them know just how much you care.
Something happened to me earlier this year when I looked at my daughter, Megan, who is in eighth grade. She excels in school, participates in many extra-curricular activities, and seems to have a very full social life. I am very proud of her. But one night, while I was helping her plan her weekly activities and finish homework, I noticed that she looked tired. In fact, she looked utterly exhausted. Seeing her in that moment made me realize we needed to cut back.
As my kids grow, we're constantly offered opportunities to do all types of activities. Swimming, cheerleading, karate, dance, volleyball--if we attempted to do all of them, I would constantly be in the car, writing checks, and in a terrible mood.
A lot of working parents feel the urge to "hyper-parent," to schedule healthy and educational activities for their children every minute of every day. I, too, have been guilty of this. But, through my own efforts of "progress, not perfection," I've taken strong actions to stop.
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