So, you’re convinced that you have zero opportunities to meet
men. Are you stuck in an office all day with the same stiffs day
in and day out? Have you tried singles’ dances, only to leave
feeling worse than when you went in? Did the last loser your
aunt set you up with squash your Chihuahua when he screeched up
the driveway?
Well, don’t fret. I have some ideas for you. While advice
columnists steer single women into churches to meet honest,
loyal, and successful men, I wouldn’t dream of it. Church is
great for communing with God, but it never struck me as the best
place to meet a man. People, including me, are on our best
behavior at church. If you’d rather meet a man where he’s more
likely to be himself, here are my top three recommendations:
1.A bar, specifically during Monday Night Football. Football
season is a great time to meet men who flock to taverns to watch
the NFL. When I was single, I loved going to Monday Night
Football (even though I didn’t really understand the game)
because the bar was filled with mostly single men, there was a
free buffet, and the atmosphere was merry. Advice columnists
usually tell women to stay out of bars if they want to meet
suitable men, but I disagree. It’s important to see how a man
drinks, and how he behaves under the influence of alcohol. Does
he get wasted and drive home? Or, does he have a couple of beers
and switch to water before he leaves? Does he smack the
bartender in the head when his team loses, or does he remain
amiable? There are things you can learn in a bar about a man
that you never will in church. Bring a friend with you and make
having fun, not hooking up, your first priority. You may have to
show up three weeks in a row before anybody shows interest in
you (or, then again, maybe not). Keep in mind that different
bars attract different types of people. If you don’t like the
crowd in one bar, try another place next time.
2.A class. I know, I know. You’ve heard this one before, but
have you ever tried it? Let me tell you a story: My friend
Brian’s longtime girlfriend dropped him for another guy. After
grieving for a while, he dusted himself off and signed up for a
cooking class. See, Brian loves to cook, but he put off pursuing
formal training while he was with What’s-Her-Name. Once she was
out of the picture, though, he decided to register for a course,
figuring he’d meet many likeminded women there. Sure enough, he
did. I advise you to write down a list of hobbies you’d like to
explore and figure out which of them would also appeal to men.
Then sign up for a class or join a club. See what happens.
3.Throw a party. While Brian did meet lots of women at the
cooking class, he didn’t fall in love with any of them. So he
threw a party where he could show off his new skills. He wasn’t
picky about who he invited and told everybody to bring a friend
or two. The result? A woman he’d never met showed up. They fell
in love and have been married now for two years. But even if
Brian hadn’t met his future wife that night, hosting that party
netted him plenty of invitations to others, providing
opportunities to meet many more people. A caveat: When you plan
your party, don’t exclude married friends from the guest list.
You don’t want your big night to feel like a singles’ mixer.
Instead, invite couples and encourage them to bring a friend.
Remember, the trick to meeting new men is to break up your
routine. Step one: Put down the remote. I assure you that the
world is full of great single men like Brian who want to meet
someone special, and for one of those men, that person is you.
Seek and create new social situations. Act naturally. Smile.
Whatever you do, don’t keep twisting your neck like you’re
casing the place for a live one. Maintain eye contact with
whomever you’re talking to, whether it’s a man or a woman.
Having fun is key. When you’re having fun, you’ll attract men
like a magnet.