Studies have shown that eighty percent, of all males and
females, fit into standard categories of strengths and
weaknesses. Thus, it is comfortable, convenient, and or best
fits their abilities for them to follow traditional teachings
for their roles. If where you are within the eighty percent
bracket, this article may not be for you.
Though, if you are in the other twenty percent category,
likely, your mate will be too. In such cases, a marriage works
much better when couples stop trying to fill standard
expectations and carry the roles God best equipped each for.
However God created you; He did not make a mistake.
Having once experienced an abusive marriage and another kind of
abuse in the church, thought to be the wrong gender to serve
God, I had great need to ‘know’ God’s intent for submission and
obedience.
First, in an abusive relationship, obeying means things like ~
if you open a two liter of pop while the mate it away, some of
the fiz could possibly fizzle out and who knew that would make
them angry!? Though, you can expect to find yourself curled into
a corner, in the fetal position, protecting as many body parts
as possible.
And, when the church tells wives to obey, the message is that
this is what God is like.
Then, when God’s calling was contrary to authority’s
acceptance, it would eat at my soul. God did not stop calling,
as He did not change His mind (Ro. 11:29). To hear the cries of
others in need and to not be able to do anything about it was as
much torment as being held captive/prisoner … sometimes, like it
was happening to me all over again.
I had great need to ‘know’ and as a result of that search,
these are among my findings.
In cases of submission …
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God,” Ep.
5:21.
“I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that
it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and that they have addicted
themselves to the ministry of the saints,) That ye submit
yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and
laboureth,” I Co. 16:15-16.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit
in the Lord,” Co. 3:18.
We are all called to submission, one to another, to husbands;
to everyone that helps and labors for God, regardless of gender.
Being that it is impossible to obey everyone at the same time,
we can conclude that to submit is not necessarily to obey. For,
if the husband were submitting to one another, in theory, he
would also have to obey his wife. Since that is not a supported
doctrine, either the above verses are in error or we
misunderstood the meaning of submitting.
As I have found submission to mean, it is to listen to the need
of another’s heart. Then, whenever it becomes necessary to alter
my plan in order to meet their need, their true need should come
first. In such, we should all be healers of one another’s soul;
including our mate’s. We are to be willing vessels, allowing the
love of God to flow through us as often as God shows us a need.
People’s wants and needs are different. We can know which is a
true need by following God’s example. Listen not to one’s words
but to the cry of their heart. Our want should step out of the
way for another’s ‘need’.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit
in the Lord.” Co. 3:18.
Whatever you believe the word ‘submit’ means, consider this;
“Wives, submit yourselves … as it is fit in the Lord.” Co.
3:18. Notice the verse does not say, “Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands, or you are not fit in the Lord.” It says
to submit to the extent it “is fit in the Lord.”
So, if one’s husband requests them to sleep with another man,
is it fit in the Lord? Of course not. So herein is, at the very
least, is an example of exception.
Obedience …
What we are to ‘obey’ is spiritual leadership (whether one
calls it submission or by another name). When someone is
spiritually leading, we will be able to hear the Spirit and know
that is God, it is Him speaking and it is fit in Him, as the
Spirit can not lie.
In such cases, we are not worshipping our husband. Our
submission is to the Lord. The same would be true, whomever the
Lord is speaking through. When the Spirit touches our spirit, it
is God. (Though, if we quench the Spirit before He has had a
chance to speak, we might miss God’s best.)
So, if that be the case, what could the following verses mean?
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and
shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the
church,” Ep. 5:31-32.
Paul just said he was referring to Christ and the church.
Theologians agree.
A Great Mystery …
A Bishop is to be a husbandman, married to his church; just
like Christ is married to the church. In turn, a church (as a
wife) is to submit to the leading and or needs of their Bishop;
to the extent it is fit in the Lord.
As one researches the word ‘woman’, scripture gives it several
additional symbolic meanings.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God
created he him; male and female created he them,” Ge. 1:27.
“Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called
their name Adam, in the day when they were created,” Ge. 5:2.
Male and female were called Adam; not Eve, not woman.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor
free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in
Christ Jesus,” Ga. 3:28. “That there should be no schism in the
body; but that the members should have the same care one for
another,” Co. 12:25.
Often, when we are reading of husbands and wives, it is in
reference to the church. Either we believe that, or we believe
the Bible contradicts. God is no respecter of persons. And when
we are told that He is, it does not come from God.
Whenever we follow anyone contrary to God’s leading, we have
become a sinful Adam (male or female); whose choice became other
than God. However, that is not to say we quarrel and fight. For,
God is able to show us when our wants are in error, just as He
is able to speak to our mates.
Only when God calls us to take a stand contrary to our mates
are we to stand in the right way and for the right reason;
striving to live peaceably (as with all men) but letting God be
our only god. And, in following God, He will teach us how to
stand in the Spirit. Therein, others can also know it is truth.
But in the case where a mate is not interested in things of
God, we have been made bishops of our own souls; with our own
accountability to God. Whatever it be, God will guide our every
step.
Eve was the mother of all living. Paul referred to himself as a
spiritual father.
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he
which made them at the beginning made them male and female,” Mt.
19:4.
Since mothers and fathers (spiritual teachers) can not get it
right …
“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” Mt. 19:5.
“It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of
God,” John 6:45. “I in them, and thou in me, that they may be
made perfect in one,” John 17:23.
“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your
body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. Ye are bought with a
price; be not ye the servants of men,” I Co. 6:20; 7:23.
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free,” John 8:32. “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye
shall be free indeed.” John 8:36.
“But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God,
ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life,”
Ro. 6:22. “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body,
whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and
have been all made to drink into one Spirit,” I Co. 12:13.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor
free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in
Christ Jesus,” Ga. 3:28. “Stand fast therefore in the liberty
wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again
with the yoke of bondage,” Ga. 5:1.
“As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of
maliciousness, but as the servants of God,” I Pe. 2:16.
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that
needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth,”
II Ti. 2:15.
Do we believe God or teachings of men? God word does not
contradict.
© by Joyce C. Lock http://my.homewithgod.com/blessingsandlessons/
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly
in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and
my burden is light.”
Mt. 11:29-30
This writing may be used in its entirety, with credits in tact,
for non-profit ministering purposes.