Defining Modern Femininity: Embracing Class and Confidence

Have you seen one lately? A lady, I mean. I had to scratch my head a few times to think of one.

There are the ‘traditional’ types of ladies, such as Audrey Hepburn and a more modern example – Kate Middleton.a

Then there are the modern ladies who dress the part, but whose choices in life are coloured by the progressive world we live in.

These modern ladies may not be considered a ‘lady’ by the old style ladies.

It’s wonderful to be a classy lady, but I believe our society no longer values the ‘uptight’ women who are always trying to please and be perfectly elegant.

Being elegant all the time is terribly one dimensional. If you have to be elegant all the time, then you lose that whimsical side to your personality.

In other words, you can lose that playfulness and fluidity in your personality that makes you able to connect on multiple different levels with many different people.

I mean, just because one is a lady doesn’t mean she is to be restricted in life.

It doesn’t mean she has to be untouchable, and unable to get herself dirty.

Confining oneself to strict ladyship is terribly one-dimensional and annoying for one’s friends, family and acquaintances. 

Do our feminine energy quiz: how feminine am i really?

Fact: Most women do not live day to day in their feminine energy. Are you? Answer the next 9 questions and discover exactly how much you are living in your feminine core...

1. Which of these comments make me feel the most alive?

"How would you like to travel around the world?"

"OMG You’re looking amazing in that outfit."

"I bet you can't figure out fit 2 cheeseburgers in your mouth"

"None of these"

2. In a high pressured situation, my natural instinct is to...

"Eliminate distractions whilst tunnel vision sets in."

"Create comfort by speaking to friends or eating something."

"Avoid the situation or feel depressed about it."

"None of these."

3. In the bedroom, i prefer someone who is...

"Bigger than me physically"

"Smaller than me physically"

"Same size as me physically"

"I have little or no preference"

4. If I’m in a supermarket, and I can’t find something…

"I politely ask the first shop assistant I spot"

"I walk up and down the isles until I find it"

"Don't care, whatever is most convenient"

"None of these."

5. If i had a deadline for a project in a month, I tend to...

"Start now and get most of it done so I don't stress later"

"Pressure is good, I'd rather start closer to the deadline"

"Plan out week by week what I need to do"

"I have no idea..."

6. When I am cooking, I can also carry on a conversation over the phone...

"Very easily, I can probably juggle at the same time."

"It's not easy, but I can manage if I really focus"

"no chance... one thing at a time for me"

"I don't know..."

7. Which of the following describes the kind of intimate partners you’ve had in the past...

"My partners have tended to assume they are right about everything"

"They tell me that they think I always think I’m right about everything"

"Things tend to go smoothly with my past partners"

"I'm not too sure..."

8. It would hurt me more if my intimate partner were to say to me:

"You are looking tired and run down lately"

"You seem to be losing your drive and your direction."

"You really treat men differently than you treat women"

"None of these"

9. In my ultimate dream world, I would rather…

"Trust and follow my own direction"

"Trust and follow my lover’s direction"

"We should both follow our own unique directions"

"I don't actually know..."

Amazing! Let's look at your results...

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How To Be A Modern Lady

Firstly, to “define” our subject of interest:

Meaning of a Lady: A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behaviour. A woman who is regarded as proper and virtuous.

As you read through this article, notice what I’m doing here.

The point of this article has gone over many a person’s head over the last 12 that it’s been read…

Just keep your sense of humour and an open mind while you read, and you’ll find the real way to be a modern lady.

Nonetheless, here are some tips to get you further on your way to ladyship:

1. Be generous with expressions of gratitude such as: ‘Thank You’ and ‘I appreciate that’.
2. Don’t say that you need to go to the bathroom; just excuse yourself.
3. When in doubt, dress modestly.
4. If someone smiles at you; smile back.
5. Do try to bring extra guests to an event, party or function. But ask politely first.
6. It is imperative that you develop good posture, which isn’t too hard to achieve.
7. Do say that you need to go to the bathroom, and excuse yourself.
8. Whatever you do, do it with Poise.
9. If a gentleman offers to pay for your dinner, politely accept and say ‘Thank You’.
10. If somebody gives you a lift somewhere, always say ‘Thank You’.
11. Don’t be demanding of favours. Rather, inconvenience yourself than burden others with your demands.
12. Don’t engage in casual flings purely out of personal desperation for sex. (Here’s an article on The Secret Cost Of Casual Sex For Women.)
13. Don’t keep f*** buddies.
14. Keep your natural skin colour! Ie: Rather your skin be naturally white as snow than as orange as this.
15. Don’t get fake breasts. Unless you have had an illness that necessitates fake breasts, choose authenticity and real self love over trying to “trick” men into desiring you more. The smart men value what is real.
16. Don’t be too quick to reveal your age, weight or bra size.
17. Respect a man.
18. Model after Audrey Hepburn. Or learn the art of being a classy woman here.
19. Reveal your age, weight and bra size.
20. Listen more than you speak.
21. Don’t talk on the phone in movies, in lectures, or at the dinner table.
22. Don’t respect a man if he doesn’t deserve your respect.
23. Wait for people to finish their sentences before you speak.
24. Don’t complain about the weather. You cannot change it anyway.
25. Don’t interrupt other people’s conversations. Politely wait.
26. Wait to be served or to ask a question, even if it is a quick question.
27. Don’t discuss religion or politics at the dinner table.
28. Don’t speak in a foreign language when there is another person or other people around who do not understand it.
29. Politely report and express your disappointment about a bad meal to a waiter. Don’t crack it at the waiter.
30. When in Rome, do as Romans do.
31. Be on time.
32. Apologize for being late.
33. Call if you are going to be late.
34. Respect other people’s opinions. Don’t shove your views in their faces as gospel.
35. Don’t be tyrannical.
36. Hear others out before assuming your way of doing things is the superior way.
37. Believe you are number one. (Here’s an article that will show you how to be the number one high value woman!)
38. Shine the light upon others.
39. Be modest in character.
40. Don’t think you are number one.
41. Don’t laugh at other people’s misfortune.
42. Give other people credit if they have helped you (even if they don’t know they helped you). Give more than they “deserve”.
43. Assume every day is a new beginning.
44. Don’t burp or fart out loud in front of people.
45. Think before you speak.
46. Don’t scare people (within context).
47. Don’t wear the same jacket as everybody else.
48. Don’t carry weapons.
49. If you say you will do something, follow up on it.
50. Honour anyone who has ever helped you. And never forget that they have helped you.
51. Wear the same jacket as everybody else.
52. Be charming.
53. Don’t tell sexist or racist jokes.
54. Always RSVP to events.
55. Don’t use call waiting. Use an answering machine instead.
56. Don’t lead men on.
57. Don’t flirt with men you’re not interested in.
58. Always leave a tip.
59. Have a tidy appearance.
60. Keep good personal hygiene.
61. Have messy hair.
62. Recognize inconsistencies in personality for what they are. Inconsistencies. A chance to re-align your values. These do not define a person.
63. Know the value of femininity and How To Be Soft and Feminine.
64. Respect your neighbors and close the windows and doors when you are getting frisky with your man. (Common sense is not always so common).
65. Treat people as equals.
66. Make mistakes. Be ok with it.
67. Honor your mistakes.
68. When leaving a social function, always say goodbye to everyone you spoke to.
69. Win some false friends and true enemies. And know you’ve succeeded anyway.
70. Be reasonable.
71. Be unreasonable. Reasonable people are stuck in their own limited version of reality.
72. Think carefully before you do something you regret. Instead, ask yourself: “what do I REALLY, truly value in my life?”
73. Ask yourself: “where’s the good in this?”
74. Remember, you are MORE than your behavior.
75. Accept the features you have been given, and in turn, accept other people’s features.

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Now over to you. Yes, you! 🙂

So what does being a lady mean to you? What tips have you got for us? Any questions about my list? Confusions? Feel free to type away!

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Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. She graduated with a bachelor of Law and bachelor of Arts majoring in sociology and psychology. She has been a dating and relationship coach for women in the past 15 years and together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 20 million women through their articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.

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