The job of wedding planners may seem to be a series of funny situations that are usually highlighted in movies. But in real life, things are way more complicated. As it turns out, there are even special courses for wedding planners where they learn the basics of wedding psychology. It’s no wonder that the combination of learning and professional experience has allowed organizers to very accurately predict the duration of certain marriages.
Bright Side has found out which criteria wedding organizers use to understand when marriages won’t last long and compared them with the conclusions of family psychologists. Now, you have a chance to see how close the professional opinions of wedding planners are to reality.
During the process of preparing for the event, wedding planners often notice how future spouses address each other. Nicknames are not always a sign of a long and happy marriage. However, humiliating and offensive names that partners use even in the presence of other people are often a sign that the marriage won’t last long. When insults are justified with, “I said it with love,” the predictions for the future marriage are not positive.
Sometimes, all the details are discussed but one of the future spouses tries to make their own changes behind the other partner’s back, often asking the organizer not to say anything. And it’s okay when you are asked to keep a secret in order to surprise someone (for example, when a groom wants to sing a song he composed during the ceremony). But sometimes, one of the partners asks about something that the other partner will definitely not enjoy (for example, not sending invitations to some of the guests). Sneaky things like this that are hidden from one partner may lead to a quick end to the marriage.
Wedding planners say that men are less interested in details than women. They often don’t care about the color of the chairs or the flavor of the wedding cake. But grooms often accompany their future wives to the discussions about these things to provide support. And when some partners don’t take part in preparing for the event, it looks and feels quite strange. According to organizers, sometimes they meet the grooms, or brides, for the first time during the ceremony. These marriages don’t usually last long.
According to wedding organizers, there are situations where brides and grooms argue when choosing the music for their first dance. Even little details can be the reason for an argument and when things are not discussed by partners they can become the reason for a clash that could include tears, insults, and broken plates. You may even be able to feel the tension at the ceremony itself. For example, when the music that was the reason for the conflict comes on, you might notice the partners roll their eyes or even refuse to dance. This inability to meet each other halfway in a marriage can be really destructive.
It sometimes happens that mothers-in-law tell everyone that they wish their child could have found someone better. But this is only half of the problem. Newlyweds are not supposed to be liked by everyone and that’s totally okay. But a really alarming sign is when one partner doesn’t want or can’t defend the other one. Even worse, some people even support their relatives — this is absolutely ugly.
Sometimes, it seems like drinking a glass of wine to relax before the ceremony is okay, but this often leads to a full-scale alcohol party with no one counting how many drinks they’ve had. Parents and friends of the newlyweds have a tendency to do this. But, sometimes even the newlyweds themselves drink too much before or during the wedding ceremony. Wedding planners think that these situations shouldn’t be considered accidental. This is a reason to doubt the perspective of your future life together.
Newlyweds often incur huge amounts of debt in order to organize their wedding ceremony. This can be a real problem for a young family. You should be mindful of what you can afford and what you can’t. Don’t get into debt unless you can pay the money back without damaging the future of your family. Otherwise, this burden will be on your shoulders for a long time, and instead of enjoying a honeymoon together and building a life, you will constantly argue about money, question your relationship, and regret the wasted money. These marriages often end before the money is even paid back.
Have you ever tried to guess how long a certain marriage will last? Tell us in the comment section below!