We are relational beings—hard wired to connect with one another. As infants, we need others to reflect back to us in order to know that we exist. That’s why we all coo and make silly faces when we see a baby. We’re saying, “I see you, I hear you,” and simultaneously fostering growth and development in the child.
As adults, it’s important to remember this fact. We can’t see ourselves clearly, and we need others to reflect back our true nature and to help us to grow and develop. We need others to shine some light on our path and to hold our hand as we put one foot in front of the other.
In the evolution of our consciousness, we go from a state of “not knowing” to “knowing.” The contrast of dark to light is a necessary one. In other words, we have to NOT KNOW in order to continue expanding towards the other end of the spectrum—knowing. Stepping into confusion is necessary, stepping into chaos is necessary, and stepping into the powerlessness and discomfort of not knowing is necessary in order to grow. These are the scary parts of the process and I don’t know many people who enjoy being in these spaces. But the good news is that we don’t have to do it alone.
From a recovery standpoint, there is a reason that the first word of the first step is, “We.” There is a reason for sponsorship and home-groups and fellowship. No one can do this journey alone and yet so many of us feel ashamed when we need help. We resort to isolation and simultaneously remove one of the most powerful resources we have: one another.
May this reminder give you permission to rally the troops in support of your own growth and development. May you cherish your relationships that are encouraging and nurturing. If you find that your circle of support isn’t big enough—make a conscious effort to widen it. We don't have to navigate our path alone, but we might have to be the first person to put our hand out.
Ingrid Mathieu, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and author of Recovering Spirituality: Achieving Emotional Sobriety in Your Spiritual Practice.
Follow her on Twitter or Facebook for daily inspiration on achieving emotional sobriety. Watch her short videos or visit her website at www.IngridMathieu.com