Battling depression can be difficult but struggling with infertility while being depressed can be even more trying. While you might feel justified in being depressed because of the difficulties you are having with getting pregnant, treating your depression is actually a step in helping yourself to overcome infertility. But it's not that simple is it. Every time you leave the house you are confronted with pregnant women, newborn children and everything seems to remind you of the fact that you're having a hard time getting pregnant.
Even though helpful friends and family members might try to be supportive, most have no idea of what it's like to live your life. If nothing else, this is your life and you're having to deal with the pain and the depression right now in a very real way. People might try to reassure you that everything is going to work out in the end and some might even tell you that the problem is that you are worrying about getting pregnant and this is what is causing your problems. This advice is of very little help to you and it might even make you feel even more isolated and make you want to stop sharing your life with these well meaning friends. You want answer and help but you simply don't know where to turn. You don't want anyone to feel sorry for you or pity you. You just want help.
Even though you might not admit it to anyone other than yourself, you might feel that all of your infertility problems are your fault. You might look back at your life and feel that you did something wrong that is causing your infertility or that God thinks that you're not going to be a suitable parent so you are being denied the child that you want so much. You might tell yourself one of a hundred things inside your head that all point to you and that there is something wrong with you. You are the cause of your infertility.
Getting down on yourself or beating yourself up isn't helping you. You're in a very dark place and there is no real truth to these thoughts or emotions. You are no different than anyone else that has gone through a trying time while trying to get pregnant. I know it's difficult to pick your head up after you've beat yourself down but you must if you ever hope to find any future happiness. There is hope and there are dreams still in your heart. Live those dreams and take the risk of spending some time each day with a smile on your face and joy in your heart as you think about how it's going to feel to hold your baby for the first time. Know in your heart that this is your future. Keep the big picture in your mind and see things down the road when you wake up in the middle of the night because your baby is calling to you. Delight in these dreams and dare to push back the darkness so you can start living again.
Yes, there will still be times when you're not going to feel like pulling yourself out of that dark place. You will be tired of fighting the darkness and you'll want to give in to the depression. You will have days when you'll be tempted to call off from work and just crawl back into bed because you don't think that you can handle the news that one more of your friends is pregnant. Giving into this temptation to isolate and give up the fight to stay positive and optimistic can be a slippery slope and one that you need to be aware of. Sometimes you're just going to have to push through it for one more day, one more hour or even one more minute to keep moving forward.
Exercise can help you to overcome your infertility depression. Getting out of the house and going for a walk not only helps your body physically by releasing chemicals into your body that will elevate your mood but not allowing yourself to be controled by forces external to you will help you feel powerful. You will be doing something real to overcome your depression and you'll also be doing something to overcome your infertility at the same time. Go for a walk or jog or join a gym. If you simple can't handle seeing other people or you're worried that you're going to be upset if you see another pregnant woman, go out at night. Lessen the chances of you becoming upset until you are feeling better and stronger.
Doing something starting today to help eliviate your depression is a smart move. Putting it off until tomorrow might be tempting but there is a pretty good chance that you'll put it off tomorrow also if you do so. Start right now to make the changes in your life that will help you to battle this depression and put you on the road to overcoming infertility and ending that depression once and for all. After all, you can't be depressed about infertility while you're holding a newborn baby, right?
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