Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but
can’t marry you because a) his wife won’t divorce him, b) his
last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c)
he can’t make a commitment until his kids are in college?
Here’s how to get unstuck:
1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You
can’t make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you
can’t keep him faithful, you can’t force him to tell the truth.
If he’s not willing, forget it.
2) Let go. Don’t call a man who causes you pain. Don’t go
looking for him (in other words, stop picking at the pimple). If
Aunt Polly asks what happened to that lovely fellow you brought
to Cousin Elmer’s wedding, tell her he died.
3) Close your heart. Sure, your blood pounds whenever the guy
walks into the room, but you can change this. Definitely. Write
a list of the things you don’t like about him (be honest; there
are a couple!). Refer to this list whenever you’re tempted to
fantasize about him, or worse, contact him. Bring to mind the
times he made you feel bad about yourself in 3-dimensional
detail.
Your goal is to become indifferent. In other words, you want to
get to the point where you’d rather shop for socks than hang out
with the guy.
4) Write a list of all things you have going for you: Sense of
humor? Compassion? Resourcefulness? Remember every compliment
you’ve ever gotten. Write them down. Whip ‘em out whenever you
start mooning over What’s-His-Name. Know that you’re an
excellent catch.
5) Take care of yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a
beloved child. Wear clothes that honor your body. Eat foods that
nourish you. Avoid convenience foods that damage your health and
your looks. Buy yourself flowers.
The antidote to being stuck on a bad man is to learn to love
yourself enough to stop being attracted to him. The bonus? After
a while, you’ll start attracting (and being attracted to!) men
who really know how to love a woman.
Go for it.