“Get off the surface and deepen your relationships. Go after the
buried treasures and reap the rewards.” Beth Tabak
Get past the “how are you doing? how’s the wife and kids?” with
the response being “good, not so good, or fine” to the story
behind each person. This is when you develop connection, and
people grow from connection. People seek value and want to
contribute. Whether you want to increase business, develop your
career, gain support, eliminate barriers, create opportunities,
or merely relate and be loved; the benefits of widening your
inner circle and going deeper are astronomical.
How easy it is to get comfortable with where we are and who we
are with. We sometimes close the door to getting to know others
around us who could add great value to our lives. Growth is a
tremendous part of human life. We grow physically. We grow in
knowledge and wisdom. Many of us strive to grow spiritually. We
grow in and out of relationships. It seems that when we are
growing the more fulfilled we become. When we are not growing we
become disconnected, bored, and frustrated. While you may have
many good relationships, is it possible that you are missing out
on other remarkable experiences because you have relaxed into
your comfort zone? Keep in mind that the more connections we
have the more opportunities come our way, and the deeper those
connections the more stimulating the relationship. So what is
the first step?
The first step is to create the best relationship with the only
person you are guaranteed to be with for your entire life. Yes,
you! You attract relationships which are a reflection of
yourself. So if you do not like who you are attracting, then
take the time to develop the relationship with yourself. Take
pride in all that you are. When you surrender and let go of all
the things you think you should be, you begin the fascinating
journey of being who you are meant to be. When you except
yourself for all that you are…strengths and weaknesses…you
can except others in the same way. You expend less energy when
you are authentic, yet you are more likely to have a profound
impact on others. When you take full responsibility for your own
happiness you remove the burden from others of fulfilling those
expectations. This lightens the relationship enabling it to
blossom.
What do I mean by widening? As people come and go in and out of
our lives they teach us valuable lessons. The more good
relationships you have in your circle, the more you set yourself
up to have an abundance of support. We could all use that…huh?
You open the door for more opportunities to come your way.
Behind every opportunity is a human being. I have no doubt that
my divorce became easier because of the reserves of friendship I
have. I can only imagine how hard it would have been if I felt
alone. Recently a few of my friends informed me of their
intentions to move. While saddened by the news, I realized that
I have become so comfortable with my inner circle that I have
not been taking that extra step to open the doors to new
friendships. When we first moved in I made it a priority to get
to know everyone in the neighborhood, and have been blessed by
those relationships for over 6 years. Thus came the idea for
this article. I realized that I am missing out because I have
become so comfortable. I am quite certain that I am not alone.
Yet in my business where I am focused on spreading my wings I
continue to be blessed with support and new
opportunities…hmmm. So consider widening your circle. Reach
out and add a new relationship. Notice how you grow from the
connection.
Allow me make a request that you can accept or reject. Try
taking your relationships to a deeper level, and see what
happens. This is not about digging up your deep, dark secrets so
don’t get nervous. Many of us don’t pry because we were raised
with the saying “don’t be nosy”. However, it is natural to be
curious. One way to gain access to wisdom is by asking “what”
questions. “What” questions are a great way to open up an
interesting conversation. What was your most incredible
experience? What is the most interesting tidbit about your
family? What was the best advice you ever received? Another
phrase to use is “tell me about…”. Tell me about your home
town. Tell me about how you chose your profession. We often
bobble on the surface like a beach ball because it is just
easier, and never realize the treasures that lie below the
surface.
Seek the story behind each person and grow from the connection.
Get to the good stuff…Starting Now!
Copyright 2002, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.