Jealousy. It may only be a simple word, but does not have such a
simple definition behind it. There are many reasons we feel
jealous and though it is a normal human emotion to feel, it
tends to get out of control if we fail to tame it. In order to
tame it and control it however, you will first have to learn
where your jealousy is coming from. There is always a cause for
jealousy to arise and once you have those causes figured out,
controlling it will become easier.
When your jealous emotions come out, all you know is that you
are feeling that way, correct? That is where you need to stop!
It will be hard to remember, but you must take a pause every
time you feel jealous and ask yourself why you feel that way.
Does it have something to do with your own self-esteem, or does
the person you are in a relationship with provide you with good
reasons to feel this way? Speaking of self-esteem, jealousy is a
good way of lowering it. So no matter what the reasons may be,
it is extremely important for you to conquer it, otherwise it
can do great damage to your self-esteem.
Once you figure out where your jealousy is coming from, you will
then need to discover why it makes you feel jealous. For
instance, if you figured out that it makes you jealous when your
boyfriend or girlfriend talks to the opposite sex, then you need
to discover why it makes you jealous. Did you have an experience
in a previous relationship that now causes you to feel jealous
with similar situations, or do you just have a fear of being
betrayed? If so, why does that fear exist? Is your self-esteem a
little lower than you thought? As you can see, there is a huge
line of questions that need to be asked and answered in order
for your jealousy to be conquered and under control.
Acknowledging it is the first and important step, so you are
already on the right and smart track!
Once you have realized where your jealousy comes from and what
causes it, you can then concentrate on keeping it in control and
hopefully get rid of it. If the reason has something To do with
your partner, then it is best to have a serious conversation
with him or her about it. Do not be afraid or feel stupid for
feeling the way you feel. You have the right to express yourself
and they are entitled to knowing what is making you feel
jealous. If they truly care about you, they will work on ways to
prevent you from experiencing such emotions. It is also a good
idea to make an appointment with yourself and find ways you can
improve your self-love and health, so that you can gain more
strength and confidence, and be ready fight off such jealousies
when they come to surface.
Toning down your jealousy and possibly getting rid of it for
good will take time. It all depends on the situations and
reasons. If having a flirtatious partner makes you jealous and
your partner stops flirting, then it may be easier to overcome.
However, if your jealousy is coming from a different area such
as your competitive nature towards other women, then it will be
more difficult. It is very common for women to feel jealous of
each other’s physique, success and relationships. The best way
to fight this jealousy off is to improve your own self-health
and lifestyle. Do things that boost your confidence. If you feel
jealous of what great shape another woman is in and the
attention she gets, then perhaps you should focus on yourself
rather than her success. Concentrate on finding ways to satisfy
yourself both physically and mentally.
Learning how to handle your jealous emotions will be a huge
influence on how your situations will turn out. Combine your
jealousy with a more rational emotion so that you can keep it
from going overboard. If you combined it with an equally or
almost equally stressful emotion such as anger, you will only
push yourself back from reaching the outcomes you really want
and are looking for. You could end up making a decision that
will leave you feeling worse.
To keep yourself on the right track of jealousy conquering, just
remember these steps:
·Acknowledge your Jealousy. ·Ask yourself where it is coming
from. ·Question why it makes you feel Jealous. ·Make self-health
and lifestyle changes that will assist you in fighting it off.
·Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion. ·Practice!
As long as you keep those steps in mind and follow them, you
will learn how to take control of your jealousy instead of it
controlling you. The last step is important . . . practice! You
know the saying, practice makes perfect. So if you continue to
practice these steps, controlling this stressful emotion will
become easier and easier, until you have become a total master
at it. Taking control of your emotions will make you the leader
and not follower of your emotions, which can prevent you from
entering many unwanted territories, such as break ups, low
self-esteem, depression and even an increased amount of
jealousy. You will be able to focus on the more important topics
in your life and see things with a more clear and open mind,
which will guide you into making better decisions and finding
better solutions to the obstacles you will face in your
relationships and life in general.
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Alina Ruigrok is an independent relationship expert for
http://www.love-sessions.com helping those in need of dating,
love, relationship, marital, sexual and other personal advice
through e-sessions.