Despite their 32-year age difference, Erika Girardi (a.k.a. Erika Jayne) and husband Tom Girardi seemed pretty happy together on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So, it was a shock to fans (and her co-stars) when the couple announced they were divorcing in November 2020.
"After much consideration, I have decided to end my marriage to Tom Girardi," the reality TV personality said in a statement to Us Weekly. "This is not a step taken lightly or easily. I have great love and respect for Tom and for our years and the lives we built together. It is my absolute wish to proceed through this process with respect and with the privacy that both Tom and I deserve. I request others give us that privacy as well."
That being said, the divorce is a major plotline on this season of RHOBH. On the show, Erika has been more than open about the divorce. She's clued her Housewives friends (and viewers) in on how exactly her marriage to Tom fell apart, and what her life looks like now.
In the trailer for season 11, Erika says that she “did not see it ending this way. I’m just gonna hold that man’s hand until he died.” Cut to a scene with cast member Garcelle Beauvais asking Erika, “Any of the lawsuits, like, did you have a heads up?” before Erika answers, “No, I did not.” The trailer ends with the quote, “What is the lie?” before showing Erika turn and head into her house.
Okay, but… what exactly happened between Erika and Tom? Here’s what you need to know about the couple’s ongoing divorce and legal drama:
Tom met Erika when she was working at Chasen’s restaurant in Los Angeles. "After a year of working in the restaurant, one night I decided to slip Tom my telephone number," she wrote in her 2018 memoir, Pretty Mess.
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Tom then reached out to Erika through his secretary. "I told her, 'Tell Mr. Girardi if he wants to take me out on a date, he needs to call me himself and ask me and give me enough time to prepare,'" Erika said in her book. "You know how men are, especially if they are successful. They expect you to drop everything right away. That’s not how I work, I don’t care who you are."
The couple got married six months later.
Erika is 49, and Tom is 81—and that’s an age difference some fans just couldn’t seem to handle. "I’m tired of having to justify my 20-year marriage. Go get a 20-year marriage and then come f*cking talk to me," Erika said during season 10. "It’s great to have financial support. But having someone’s emotional support is something that I wish I had more of growing up."
This, according to Us Weekly, who reported that Erika filed a few days before she confirmed that her marriage was over. And, The New York Times added that Erika filed just weeks after filming for season 11 had started.
Erika opened up more to Lisa Rinna on the show. “I almost floated the idea of trial separation, but I knew it wouldn’t work,” she said. “I didn’t leave a note.”
She explained that she moved out without telling Tom: “I drove him to work, I told him I loved him and he said, ‘Thanks, hun.’ Like I was an employee,” Erika said. “I went home and started putting everything in the moving van. I drove off, went to my new place, spent the night there and he was served the next morning.”
A source told People that Erika said Tom "was cheating on her with multiple women." The source also said that Erika has "known about his infidelity for years" but "wanted to try and save the marriage."
In December 2020, Erika posted some screenshots of text messages on Instagram before quickly deleting them. She wrote in the caption that she thought the texts were between Tom and another woman.
"This is Justice Tricia A. Bigelow. She was f–king my husband Tom Girardi and he was paying her Saks bill and paying for her plastic surgery," Erika captioned the post. The dates in the screenshots go all the way back to 2011, per Us Weekly.
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A source confirmed that Erika believed Tom was cheating on her. “Erika is really going through it. She’s very strong, but this has been very hard for her emotionally,” they added.
Erika shared this little factoid back in 2017. "I don’t have a prenup," Erika said on Then & Now, per Us Weekly. "But let me tell you something, let me be very clear. I’m married to a very powerful lawyer. A prenup wouldn’t stand in his way anyway. So it doesn’t matter whether you had one or you didn’t, it’s gonna be all Tom’s way, I assure you."
As of early May, Erika and Tom have listed their mansion in Pasadena, California for $13 million. Since officially filing for divorce in November, Erika has been living in a new $1.5 million home in Los Angeles. “Erika has been living in the house for a while,” a source told People.“She’s made it her own space and loves it. She’s doing well and is happy.”
Several of Tom’s business partners are suing him to dissolve their 1126 Wilshire Partnership. His partners claim that Tom never paid them approximately $315,000 in income from the partnership and kept the money for himself, according to court documents obtained by People.
They also said that Tom took out loans against the company’s property without their knowledge. The partners are asking to dissolve the partnership and liquidate the assets, as well as to be paid the money they say they were previously owed.
Tom is facing another lawsuit for allegedly embezzling funds from several families who lost loved ones in a 2018 Boeing plane crash. Tom attended a Chicago court hearing in mid-December via phone and wasn’t able to explain to the judge where at least $2 million went from the crash settlement of Lion Air Flight 610, per The Chicago Sun-Times.
As things started to heat up legally, Dr. Nathan Lavid, a forensic and clinical psychiatrist in Long Beach, submitted a sworn declaration to the Superior Court of California back in March. He attested that Tom is medically unfit to attend any court proceedings “for the foreseeable future,” per People, since his recent diagnosis of dementia and late-onset Alzheimer’s disease.
“Dementia impairs his ability to understand the hearing,” Dr. Lavid wrote. “His emotional distress is directly related to his dementia and exacerbated by his confusion.”
The new Hulu documentary, The Housewife and The Hustler, exposed Tom's financial scandals by interviewing victims in his cases who never received their settlement money. The film was released on Monday, June 14.
By the end of the day, Erika was no longer a client of Dinsmore & Shohl LLP. "The relationship of trust and confidence that is essential to a properly functioning attorney-client relationship has broken down," the law firm stated in court documents, per Page Six. "And, in the good faith assessment of counsel, the relationship is irreparable."
Previously, the firm was representing Erika in Tom’s Chapter 7 bankruptcy case. The company also said it advised Erika to find a new lawyer, warning her of "the potential consequences of not timely securing replacement counsel."
Garcelle said on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen in March that she was "blown away when I found out they were getting a divorce." She added, "When I sat with her at breakfast last year, she was gushing and glowing about him, so I was really surprised."
Kyle told E! News that none of the other housewives saw it coming. “We were really shocked,” she said. “Because we had just been in Tahoe together and there was not even an inkling about divorce or anything and all of a sudden…it was really shocking. In hindsight, if you look at their relationship, maybe you wouldn’t be that shocked. But I mean, they were married 20 years. It was a very big shock to get that text. It was literally like in a blink, it was done.”
There was no way the Bravo cameras wouldn't capture news this big. A source told Us Weekly that Erika told plenty of details about the divorce while filming the show, but only to a point. "Legally, there is only so much she is allowed to say, but she has been advised on what she can put out there," the source said. However, they added, Erika was "not holding back"—and they were right.
In a new RHOBH episode, Erika explains how difficult the divorce was for her. “I cried every day,” she said. “This was the end to a massive part of my life and stepping basically into a void.” She explained that the decision took time, but once she decided to leave Tom, she “spent a good 30 days closing out certain parts of my life.”
Erika added that her relationship with Tom was never perfect. “My marriage was always unconventional. He was successful, 33 years older. You’re the cocktail waitress that made good with a young son,” she said in an RHOBH interview. “In my marriage, if I wanted to open up and say, ‘Tom, you hurt my feelings,’ there was none of that. It was always dismissed. In my marriage, everything was great, everything was perfect, and ‘I don’t know what you’re f—king complaining about, Erika.’”
On July 12th, Robert Girardi filed official letters of conservatorship in court, per Us Weekly. The paperwork makes Tom's brother the conservator of Tom's person and estate. The decision was made partially because of Tom's recent dementia diagnosis, which was labeled a "major neurocognitive disorder" in court documents.
Tom has been outspoken about his opinions on the conservatorship, saying in a virtual court hearing that he "obviously … disagree[d] with the conservatorship altogether." "I think that we should put together the reasons why the conservatorship should be dissolved, and then we’ll address it, address the court," he added, per Us Weekly. "Right now, I have nothing to say to the court."
But many, including fans and some RHOBH cast members themselves, aren't convinced. In an extra scene from a recent episode, Kyle Richards and her husband, Mauricio, call Tom "a young 81" and mention that "his mind is 100% there."
The clip tipped plenty of Bravo fans off, too. "Funny, not any of these people seemed to notice or ever mention Tom Girardi having any Dementia symptoms or onset of Alzheimer's. Including Erika. Not one person," one fan tweeted. Interesting.
Tom's law firm, Girardi Keese, is filing for bankruptcy, according to court documents obtained by People on Aug. 25. The firm's total liabilities stack up to around $101 million ($97 million more than the company's total assets of all listed property).
It seems there were some organizational probs in the firm's financial records, per the documents. The trustee who reviewed the company's finances said "the debtor's accounting offices were not well maintained" and that "much of what the trustee found upon her appointment was very dated."
To help pay off the creditors in the bankruptcy case, the law firm started auctioning off a variety of items that had been stored in the law office back in July. These items included a Cadillac, a piano, art, wine, vintage books, furniture, and sports and music memorabilia. A signed poster of Julia Roberts from the movie Erin Brockovich was also sold. ICYMI, Tom was the lawyer in the 1990s case against the Pacific Gas and Electric company that was the basis for the film.
(The real Erin Brockovich has worked with Tom on other cases. She recently said in an interview that she was unaware clients weren't receiving their money until the allegations were made public, according to The New York Times. “It sickens me, it frustrates me, it saddens me,” she said. “I cannot fathom how they feel. And yet we keep sensationalizing Tom and Erika.”)
The firm is even selling "Erika Jayne" collectibles, including signed magazine covers, framed photos of Erika and Tom, and the Billboard plaque for Erika's 2009 song, "Roller Coaster," per Us Weekly.
A few months ago, lawyers alleged that Tom's law firm may have covered up to $25 million of Erika's expenses. Then, in July, Erika was named as a defendant in a lawsuit filed by a bankruptcy trustee hoping to collect that money, according to The New York Times.
Court documents revealed that her expenses included more than $850,000 spent on stylists and manicures, at least $1.3 million on marketing, and $14 million in American Express charges. RHOBH fans know that Erika keeps a "glam squad" on retainer—they've even been featured in a few episodes.
Prior court documents have claimed that she knowingly hid money from the creditors involved. "Erika has used her glamour and notoriety to continue to aid and abet in sham transactions that have occurred with respect to large transfers of assets from the Debtor," the documents said, per People.
Erika's lawyer, Evan Borges, stated that Erika did not know what Tom was accused of or how he handled his law firm's money. “Erika doesn’t have personal liability for any of those transactions,” Borges explained, per the New York Times.
Regardless of whether fans, lawyers, or even Erika think Tom is of sound mind, he has now officially checked into a senior living facility, according to the Daily Mail. He lives at the Belmont Village Senior Living in Burbank, California.
The change in residence comes just days after Tom was disbarred by the California Federal Court on Aug. 20, per Entertainment Tonight. Tom is no longer "allowed to practice in the central district of California for the federal courts but the state bar proceedings are still pending," a source said.
Tom did not contest the court's decision, per People.
In September, Us Weekly reported that Tom and Erika had officially put their $1.25 million home in La Quinta, California, up for sale. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fans heard Erika explain this season that, while she knew she owned a home there, she had no idea where it was and had never visited it or stayed there.
According to Us Weekly, the massive home has a view of the nearby mountains and golf course, plus a pool. It also has a guest house, complete with its own bedroom and living area.
Page Six recently published photos of Erika while she was out running errands at T.J. Maxx and Petco, and fans had a lot to say about it on Twitter. "Shopping at TJMAXX…. with your assistant?…. Optics EJ….you are smarter than this…. This NOT winning!" read one Tweet.
Erika fired right back: "I shopped there for years. I also went to petco and Target. Stop over analyzing my life," she wrote.
Plenty of fans had Erika's back. "Target & TJMAXX is the shit! Leave her alone/no matter how much money someone has there’s nothing wrong with shopping at those places," one user responded.
Erika's social media activity over the past few months has been brought up by other cast members in recent RHOBH episodes, with Dorit Kemsley's husband, PK, saying "it's just inappropriate at a time that this is going on," referring to the scandal.
According to Bethenny Frankel, former cast member of The Real Housewives of New York City, Tom's financial problems started long before the scandal broke. On Sept. 16, Bethenny explained on her podcast, Just B, that she has a "specific perspective" on Erika and Tom's financial situation, per People.
Bethenny said her ex-fiancé, Dennis Shields, used to work with Tom in the legal industry. When she heard that Erika had been "spending a crazy amount of money," she asked Shields what he knew about the couple.
"Dennis said to me, 'He doesn't have it like that. He owes me money. He owes me half a million dollars," Bethenny said. "'I know this other guy he owes a million and a half dollars. He doesn't have money. He owes everybody money.'"
"And I go, 'What are you talking about? How is she flying around on [private planes]?'" she continued. "And he said, 'It's because he's using people's money to support her lifestyle. He's using the company's money to support her lifestyle.'" Bethenny said Shields added that, "'He owes me money and it aggravates everybody.' I said, 'Why would he do that?' He goes, 'He can't say no to her.'"
Bethenny explained that Tom's financial problems were a "widely known best-kept secret." She also revealed that she had told Bravo host Andy Cohen about the rumors, but he hadn't taken her up on the news.
"I told Andy Cohen about it, just to say, 'It's not what you think.'" She then told RHOBH stars Lisa Rinna and Kyle Richards that the Girardis "don't got it like that." "So I knew about this whole thing. I knew since, yeah, probably 2017 and 2018, I knew about this." Bethenny said.
"For some people, it works out. The money that you're making catches up with the way that you're spending. But for others, it doesn't and that's a dangerous game," she concluded. "If people are flaunting and showing a lot of what they have, very often it's all show and no go."
Erika has now been named in at least six civil lawsuits, per The New York Times—and a new one centers around her role in RHOBH. Lawyers recently sent a subpoena to Bravo producers requesting any unaired footage from the show this season.
Attorney Jay Edelson told Us Weekly that Bravo and producer Andy Cohen are suspected of "protecting" Erika by leaving certain clips out of the show. “We have all seen Bravo ride the Girardi embezzlement scandal to historically high ratings,” Edelson said in October.
“For the most part, Andy Cohen and Bravo have protected Erika, paying her—according to reports—as much as $600,000 to be on the show this year while allowing her to cast herself as the primary victim of Tom’s criminality," he continued.
“Although the reunion trailer suggests that Andy is finally going to ask the tough questions of Erika, he is strategically doing so to increase his ratings and make Bravo even more money. We believe that Bravo has a legal and moral duty to cooperate in our litigation so the true facts come out and the families of the Lion Air crash victims can get some justice.”
Alex Baskin, president of Evolution Media (the company that produces RHOBH for Bravo), told The New York Times that “the show is an authentic reflection of what occurred in real time. No accommodation was made for Erika while shooting," (or editing, he added).
Back in October, Erika's attorney filed a document stating that she had “no role in the management of [Tom’s] firm” and currently has “no knowledge of whatever transpired at GK related to the Lion Air litigation filed in November 2018, or the settlement funds,” per Us Weekly.
The file also explained that Erika had “no access or visibility into the bank accounts of GK, including client trust accounts, into which Edelson [the class action law firm] alleges the settlement funds in the Lion Air case were paid.”
Then, in early November, more documents were filed by Erika's attorney stating that she was also not involved in the "illegal fee sharing" that Tom is accused of in relation to the Lion Air case. She “never had and does not have any of the fee agreements between [the Girardi Keese firm] and the Lion Air clients,” the papers continued.
So, what's the big deal? The "bombshell filing" could have a serious impact on Erika's case, investigator Ronald Richards told Us Weekly. “It accuses Edelson’s firm of an illegal fee sharing agreement, exposing them to discipline,” he said. “Fee sharing requirements as it relates to attorney-client fee agreements are serious business in both California and Illinois.”