Lack of oxygen (hypoxia) that approaches—but avoids—fatal strangulation can produce temporary euphoria. Recently, Indiana University researchers discovered that a sexual version of this, “breath play,” is becoming increasingly popular among young adults. During their most recent partner sex experience, one-quarter of the university students surveyed said choking was part of their sex play—either being choked or squeezing a neck.
Choking can be incorporated into sex safely. But if you’re interested, proceed with caution.
Note on terminology: "Strangulation" and "choking" are different. The former involves airway constriction produced by external pressure—nooses, garroting, or hands-on necks. The latter involves internal airway blockage, typically by food. Breath play should be called feigned strangulation. But the popular term is choking.
During the 1950s, some kids held their breath until they almost passed out on my elementary school playground and claimed it got them high.
For decades, this same idea has been applied to self-sexing. Some people, overwhelmingly solo men, have used nooses and near-self-hanging to induce hypoxia in hopes of enhancing their orgasms. Men who play this way are not suicidal. They have no death wish and take care to arrange self-rescue plans. But sometimes plans fail, and they die of “autoerotic asphyxiation.”
Each year some 1,000 Americans lose their lives this way—including, as I learned decades after the fact, my eighth-grade social studies teacher.
Some pornography shows erotic breath play. It almost always involves men’s hands on women’s necks.
The research is scant, but some lovers have engaged in consensual near-strangulation. Occasionally, a few people on the receiving end have died. Their lovers have faced homicide charges.
Until recently, most sexologists considered breath play far out on the erotic fringe. A new study should change that.
The researchers offered gift cards to recruit 4,177 sexually active Indiana University undergraduates—2,025 men, 2,081 women, 61 transgender or non-binary. They completed a survey focused on their most recent partner sex experience. Key findings:
Corroboration
This is the first research I know of that focused specifically on erotic choking, but previous studies have touched on it and reported similar findings:
The rise of sexual breath play reflects the increasing popularity of bondage, discipline, and sado-masochism (BDSM) in general. The origins of BDSM are lost to history, but some ancient art depicts it.
During the 1700s, some European brothels specialized in flagellation—sex workers flogging male patrons. Since then, BDSM has become a sexual subculture, widespread though often covert.
During much of the 20th century, most people considered BDSM a fringe practice that involved only a tiny minority of Americans. But since World War II, BDSM clubs and private kink groups have quietly thrived in every U.S. metropolitan area and many rural locales.
The Internet’s arrival in the mid-1990s allowed those interested in kinky sex play to find each other easily, and they did—in droves. I searched “BDSM.” More than 850 million web pages. If you think few people near you play that way, search “BDSM” and your location. You might be surprised.
In 2011, the BDSM romance trilogy, Fifty Shades of Grey debuted on an obscure Australian website. In just 11 years, the book version has sold 160 million copies, making it the best-selling work of fiction of all time, now with a popular movie franchise as well.
In 2015, Indiana University researchers surveyed a representative 2,021 U.S. adults. Many had experimented with various elements of BDSM: flogging (13 percent), restraint (20 percent), dominant-submissive obedience (22 percent), and spanking (30 percent).
Erotic choking is simply another element of BDSM. It’s no surprise that as BDSM has become more mainstream, so has choking.
Most erotic choking is more theatrical than hazardous. It’s light, brief, and comes nowhere near strangulation. However, the neck is delicate, and the airway can be constricted fairly easily. Some people inadvertently apply more pressure than planned—especially when drunk. If you’re interested in breath play:
Arrange a backup safe signal in advance. Depending on the play, it may be difficult for the receiver to say the safe word. For example, the recipient might hold a rattle or other noisemaker.