5분 읽기
서점은 고전적인 만남의 장소로 명성을 얻을 수 있습니다. 하지만 피트니스 팬에게는 체육관이 실제로 불꽃이 튀는 실제 핫스팟 목록에서 1위를 차지합니다.
“Honestly, the gym is one of the most underrated places for gym-goers to flirt and meet someone,” according to relationship and confidence coach expert Sabrina Bendory. 공유된 취미는 연결의 쉬운 진입점이 됩니다.
The gym can be a particularly magical mutual interest because it signals aligned values—which is key to long-term relationship success. “It’s likely that people who meet at the gym value movement, sleep hygiene, managing stress, routine, and consistency,” says Shelby Terrell, LMSW, a sex and relationship therapist.
그러나 누군가와 함께 운동하는 것은 단지 호환성을 나타내는 것이 아니라 성적인 케미스트리를 구축할 수도 있습니다. Terrell은 “누군가가 운동하는 모습을 지켜보는 것은 흥분했을 때와 비슷한 신체적 경험을 선사합니다.”라고 말합니다. Whether you’re moving and grooving in salsa class, on the pickleball court, at a big box gym or CrossFit box, there’s bodily fluids, flushed cheeks, shortness of breath, she says. Plus, “exercising releases a whole bunch of endorphins and hormones (like testosterone), which can elevate mood and influence sex drive, potentially deepening intimacy and the feelings of connection with someone you're training alongside or dating,” she says.
물론 체육관에서 유혹을 하는 데 위험이 없는 것은 아닙니다. “Your fitness space is most likely a space you go for stress relief and positivity,” says psychotherapist Kim Hertz, LCSW-R. “체육관에서 유혹을 하면 이 공간의 경계가 무너져 더 이상 안전하고 편안한 느낌을 받을 수 없게 됩니다.” 그렇다고 체육관 짝사랑을 완전히 맹세해야한다는 의미는 아닙니다. 존중, 인내, 배려를 가지고 존경하는 주제에 접근함으로써 상황을 이상하게 만들지 않고 체육관에서 바람을 피울 수 있습니다.
Meet the experts:Sabrina Bendory is a relationship and confidence coach, dating expert at Dating.com and author of You’re Overthinking It . LMSW의 Shelby Terrell은 친밀감 코디네이터이자 섹스 및 관계 치료사입니다. Kim Hertz LCSW-R은 뉴욕시에 있는 NY Therapy Practice의 심리치료사입니다.
Where you sweat can be a delicate place to pursue a spicy connection. The tips ahead can help you make sure you’re honoring your fellow gym-goers—and also the sanctity of the space—when flirting with your gym crushes.
“There are definitely green lights and red lights when it comes to approaching someone at the gym—and reading them correctly is everything,” says Bendory.
Keep catching your crush’s eye in the mirror between sets? Notice a smile spread across their face when you pass? 그들이 당신에게 말을 걸기 위해 계속 핑계를 대는 것처럼 느껴집니다. 예를 들어 장비 작업이 끝났는지 분명히 묻는 등의 질문을 합니다. just started using? Bendory는 이것이 그들이 바람을 피우고 있다는 은밀한 신호일 수 있다고 말합니다.
Just as important as clocking green lights, is honing in on hard reds. “If someone avoids eye contact, moves away when you're near, or keeps their responses short and polite, they’re probably not interested or not available, and that’s your cue to move on,” says Bendory.
When at the gym—whether it’s CrossFit box, power lifting gym, or yoga studio—most peeps are laser-focused on their form. Interrupting someone when they are mid-squat, sun salutation, or sprint, could throw off their workout and up the risk of injury. 그레이 아나토미에도 불구하고 might have you believe a hospital visit is not a good first date.
Bendory는 “타이밍이 매우 중요합니다.”라고 말합니다. “Mid-deadlift is not the moment, but anytime they’re not in the zone, gasping for air, or clearly trying to focus could be,” she says. Think:Before class starts, between sets when the person is clearly resting, or at the water fountain may be, she says.
Your sweat session might have your revved up, but your gym crush doesn’t need to know that. “One of the most common mistakes people make when flirting is hyper-sexualizing it,” says Terrell. In the gym, that typically translates to one-liners about a person's body, butt, or flexibility—which can feel crude at best, and creepy at worst.
Instead of seeing flirting as a fast-track to freaking, Terrell suggests framing it as an opportunity to make someone smile. How can you make a bid for connection without making it physical? She suggests introducing yourself or asking about their training. Try:
Just like gaining muscle, building a vibe takes time. “Try not to rush it,” says Terrell. "몇 가지 다른 대화를 통해 연결을 구축할 수 있습니다." This gives you space to figure out if you're into more than just their physical appearance, while also creating room for something meaningful to unfold.
And remember:Friendship is one of the most common qualities people say they want in a long-term partner. “Go ahead and start that connection in the flirtation stage,” Terrell adds. “If it’s going to grow into something deeper, it will.”
If you’ve had a few great convos and know you want to take things beyond the gym, Terrell suggests being clear. 함께 운동하자는 제안은 피하세요. 이는 모호하고 상대방을 혼란스럽게 만들 수 있습니다.
Instead, Terrell suggests trying something like:
체육관은 당신에게 행복한 장소일 수도 있지만, 그것은 당신이 좋아하는 강사의 일입니다. 장소.
Bendory는 “친절하고 격려하며 참여하는 것이 그들의 임무입니다.”라고 말합니다. While it might be tempting to misread professional enthusiasm as personal interest, it’s important to remember that the fact they remember your name or compliment your form may just mean they are good at their job, she says.
If you’re genuinely interested in your coach or instructor, the key is to tread lightly and respectfully, says Bendory. “Don’t put them in an uncomfortable position by asking during the session or in front of a group,” she says. Instead, wait until after class or when they’re not actively working and offer a low pressure:“Hey, if you’re ever up for grabbing a coffee sometime, let me know.” 이것은 그들이 관심이 없을 때 쉽게 빠져나갈 수 있게 해줍니다.
“If the vibe’s mutual and the timing is right, it could work, but if not, let it go gracefully,” she says.
Bendory는 “슛을 쐈는데 착지하지 않으면 나선을 그리지 마세요.”라고 말합니다. You never know what someone has going on in their life—or what their current relationship status, structure, or goals might be—just by looking at them, she says.
If someone isn’t interested, stay cool. Thank them for their honesty, give them emotional and physical space, and move on, Terrell says. 물론, 거절당하는 순간 마음이 아플 수도 있지만, 훨씬 더 고통스러운 것은 당신에게 미지근한 사람과 데이트하는 것입니다.
“You’re not for everyone, and that’s a good thing,” says Bendory. “적절한 사람은 같은 에너지로 당신을 알아차리고, 보답하고, 만날 것입니다.” 그러니 계속 나타나시고, 계속 미소를 지으시고, '아니요'라는 대답으로 인해 자신감이 흔들리지 않도록 하십시오.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Men’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called